Unspoken
by xMisaMisax
Summary: Nothing is like a fairytale. There's never a happily ever after, just pain, loneliness, and death. Collection of oneshots
1. Last and Lost

**A/N** I was reading L: Change The World and got the idea for this. Tell me what you think!

Also, this was originally its' own story, but I decided to make it into a collection of stories.

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It was almost as if the title of L had been made for him more than it was for the original L. He knew that L had stood for Last One and Lost One. But the reasons it stood for these names seemed to be even more important in his case.

He truly seemed to be the Last One. The top 3 from Wammy's House generations 1 and 2 were all gone, with the exception of him. L killed by shinigami as Kira had planned, A gone by suicide, BB a victim of Kira, Mello killed with a piece of the Death Note by Takada, and Matt shot by the police. Watari, the founder of Wammy's House, the only place he could ever call home, was dead by the shinigami too. Plus Near had never liked Roger very much.

Sure, he had a team that he trusted and was always around. But without anyone that he knew from before, he really felt like the last one. When he eventually died, he would have a successor, but nothing would ever be the same again.

Despite what people thought, he actually did have emotion. He just did his best to hide it away, knowing how such emotion and passion could be one's demise, as it had been Mello's.

He felt like the only one that was left and oh so alone.

He was the Lost One too. Most of the cases he solved were so easy, he didn't know what to do. There was rarely anything difficult enough to really entertain him. With everyone gone, it didn't feel like there was anyone left who saw him as more than just the world's 3 greatest detectives. No one who showed him anything aside from respect, or criminals who had fear and hatred for him. He had no rivalry, no one close to being competition. He was probably the greatest detective that the world would ever have.

But being so alone, bored, and unchallenged, left him feeling so lost. He had been to almost every place around the world, experienced so many different cultures, and yet didn't feel like he fit in anywhere.

He would never show anyone how lost and alone he was. He would loose his reputation of being so cool, emotionless, and not very human. But the truth was, he was very human. It brought respect, setting him further apart from everyone else. He longed for those he had lost. He longed to feel like he belonged somewhere. He even almost longed to be less intelligent, just so that he could have a do-over at life. Maybe be a normal kid, have a loving family, be happy.

But this was his destiny. Be a genius, loose everything he once knew, be the best, and save the world. Never find love in anything ever again.

It was cruel. All he had ever wanted was to be the best, to be the heir of L. But before now, he never would have guessed the baggage that came with the title. He was the Last One and the Lost One.


	2. Fallen

I would always be there for him, no matter what happened. From the moment we met, I knew I would always be his. There was no way around it. I would always help pick him up when he fell, give anything he needed from me.

At Wammy's when the ranks would come out, I was always there to talk him down from his fits of rage. Convince him the he was better than Near, and he would beat the sheep next time. I would hold him at night when he woke up crying from his nightmares, and let him sleep with me. I would drag him away from fights he got in the the other students, and calmed him down before he completely beat the shit out of anyone.

Of course I got my shared of punches from him for all of this, but it was worth it. I kept him out of too serious trouble, and we each got a close friend in return. We kept each other sane in that orphanage.

When he left after L died, I knew he needed some space from everything and everyone, so I gave him a few months. But I couldn't bear being away from him, and found him again about 5 months after he left.

I expected some kind of happiness from him, an apology, anything. I got nothing. I got a nod and "Hey Mattie," but that's it. He treated me almost the same as he had before he left Wammy's, as if it was just days had gone by instead of months.

He ordered me around, had my hack for him, and had me live with him. I knew this was still my Mello, but he was different. Colder, more deadly, fearless. But I still loved him. I was still there for him. I did everything he needed me to do.

Sometimes I would go out with telling him, and he would freak out when I got home. It was never pretty. A few times I was almost sure he was going to kill me. But then he would take me in his arms, relieved I was alive and well. Those were the times I lived for. He would still have the occasional nightmare, and I would hold him through the night.

This was the reason I would do anything for my Mello. He was terrifying, deadly, not someone you wanted to mess with. But he was still human. Along with his anger and intelligence, he had fears and love. I was meant to be there to support the parts of him he would never let the rest of the world see. The only one he let close to him.

As I lay here, in a circle of officers, heart stopping, breathing slowing, bleeding to death from all the bullet wounds, I guess I always knew it would come to this. I was always there to help him up when he fell, giving him a leg up when he needed it. It was my purpose in life, so it only made sense that it would be the last thing I did, the cause of my death.

The dark blotches in my vision took over, and I saw his face. My golden-haired angel. I took my shallow last breath, and whispered "Mihael."

The only important thing in my world as I left it.


	3. Only You

How could he really be dead? Her one and only love, he fiancé. She'd been in love since the moment they had met, years ago. And of course her Light-kun had loved her just as much.

But now he was gone. Ripped away from her, tearing her apart. In the pursuit of Kira, his life had ended. She knew he believed he had to help, but couldn't he have just stayed home with her? Gotten a job where his life wouldn't be risked every day, and finally married her? She loved him more than she loved her fans, more than she had loved her family, more than anything she could imagine. Kira was gone, but that didn't make up anything for the loss she was suffering. It was like having her heart squeezed as hot needles were stabbed into it. It was like having a snake wrapped around her chest, every thought of him causing the snake to tighten more and more until she couldn't breathe.

She had begun to drink every night, downing more and more alcohol until she was completely numb. To the point where not even her thoughts made sense. Just to escape the pain she felt every other waking moment. Many times she would get so drunk for so long, spending half the time passed out, not knowing what day or week or even month is was. Her friends used to come by, but they had stopped after about a month. They could never convince her to go out with them or do anything fun. All she could think about was Light.

She knew she would never love another man. She would never get over this loss. It had been so long since he had died, and yet she still felt the pain as sharply as she had when she first found out. Except now it was filled with more longing for her lost love, missing him more every second of every day.

_The wind was blowing her hair in her face._

One of the worst parts was the nightmares. She would dream she was with him, sometimes in a dark building, sometimes in a church on their wedding day, sometimes just in their apartment. The would be looking at each other, smiles on their faces, love in their eyes, each knowing there was no place they would rather be. They would lean forward to kiss the other. But right before their lips met, there would be a yell of pain, him sinking to the floor, holding his chest. Or a loud bang, and blood soaking through his shirt as he fell over. All she could do is watch in paralyzed horror the pain in his eyes, the life leaving them as the love of her life took his last breath.

_She listened to the sound of the traffic on the street below._

Having to see her love die every time she closed her eyes was too much to bear. But there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. She had just sunk deeper and deeper into depression. The only time she ever left her apartment anymore was to go buy more alcohol. She couldn't even remember the last time she had eaten.

_Life like this wasn't worth living._

The worst part about today was that she had looked at a calendar for the first time in who knows how long. It was February 14th. Valentine's Day. The day to celebrate love. She no longer had any friends, family, and most importantly, Light. What did she have to celebrate?

As she stood on the roof of her apartment building, she realized what she did have to celebrate. The fall would break her. She wouldn't survive. It would be a moment of pain, then blackness. Then she could finally be with him. Today, Valentine's Day, Misa Amane would be lost to the world. But she would be with her love. The only one who mattered. Light Yagami.

She looked over the gray city, then closed her eyes. "Light," she whispered into the darkness, tensed, and jumped.


	4. Solitude

**A/N **I know this chapter is relatively short, but it here it is. Also, I haven't been getting much of anything on this fic, so I'd love some constructive criticism!

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He knew he was risking Matt's life in his mission. But he had never imagined it could actually happen, that he would actually die. And even if he did get caught, he thought that they would just take him in for questioning, not do this. He was so close to winning, but it would only be worth half as much if he didn't have Matt here to witness it. The man had been the only friend he had his entire life. They became close at Wammy's while they were small, and had been inseparable since. He'd been the only one able to put up with him and soothe him when he went into his fits of rage. But now he was gone.

"...Matt. I didn't think they'd kill you...I'm sorry..." he whispered to himself, grief almost consuming him. But he had a job to do, and he couldn't have Matt's death be for nothing. He drove the truck to its destination with Takada in the back, knowing that he would win. His plan would succeed. But as he drove, he couldn't help but think of all his precious memories of Matt.

When they first met, the redhead timidly following Watari into his room, his fleeting glances at Mello as Watari explained that they would be roommates. Waking up screaming in the middle of the night from the horrid nightmares that plagued him, and Matt coming over, holding him and telling him that everything was okay, and sleeping in his bed to comfort him. All the hell they raised together at the orphanage. After he left Matt back at Wammy's and joined the mafia, coming home one day to find the redhead lying on his couch, playing his DS as if he lived there. All the hours Matt had spent typing away furiously at his computer, hacking to help him win the Kira case, asking for nothing in return. That last smile he had gotten from him today, as they parted ways to execute his plan. Emerald eyes hidden behind those goggles, messy hair framing his face perfectly, cigarette dangling between his lips.

He had reached the building, and had just parked the truck, when he suddenly felt a pain in his chest. He had been so close. Dammit, how could this be the end?! The pain was increasing by the second, and he knew this was his death. He wasn't going to come in first. He wasn't going to win. Was this his punishment for letting Matt die? He felt himself begin to loose consciousness, and hoped that maybe, just maybe, there would be a heaven or a hell. Somewhere where he could see Matt again, tell him how sorry he was. Be with the man that had always been there for him. I'm coming, Matty, he thought, closing his eyes for the last time.


End file.
